“We are born into this world in many different shapes, colors, sizes, and places.
The key is understanding who you are underneath it all.
That is what 4Cross will do for you.
Shelly LaVigne
“Knowing the basics of 4Cross has been such a benefit in communicating with my husband! During a conversation, prior to knowing what his default setting is, it was so easy for me to be critical and judgmental. After learning the basics it is so much easier to remember, respect and understand where he’s coming from. This is definitely beneficial because it facilitates communication while alleviating resentments.
Working with Shelly is a life changer!!!!! Her depth of knowledge working with the 4Cross method is enviable. She has the ability to interpret your motivation all while validating you as a person. I would highly recommend working with her. You will be better for it.
- Nanu Koehler
Is there any greater pursuit than that of understanding humans?
““It's exciting to meet new people wether socially or professionally. Being able to recognize someone's position helps me to feel as though I instantly know them, allowing me to connect with them more."
As a mom I'm able to bow out of what used to be many "power struggles" after discovering how my children were seeing the world.
-Diane DeCollibus
““4Cross is a wonderful guide on navigating interpersonal relationships at a high level. It provides a framework of seeing people for how we are uniquely wired and how to have more empathy and understanding for those around us.
-William
“One of the best parts of 4Cross is… it’s like a cheat sheet for love, covering everything from self-awareness and shared values to communication and compatibility.
-Nate Gesner
Kirkus Review
LaVigne’s self-help guide challenges the popular notion that love is blind and equips readers with tools to help them win the game of love.
This book offers a refreshing perspective on the complexities of romantic relationships, presenting actionable advice that resonates with practicality and emotional depth. LaVigne’s use of her “4Cross Love Framework” is often compelling, as it provides an intriguing way to classify interpersonal dynamics. The book’s structure is easy to follow and offers clear and effective methods for strengthening connections and resolving conflicts. It categorizes people into four “positions”—North, East, South, and West—with each representing unique patterns of behavior, communication, and emotional need (“An East is the life of the party, always ready to try something new, crack a joke, or throw out a crazy idea that somehow sounds perfect in the moment”). By exploring these in depth, the author encourages readers to identify their own tendencies and interpret the dynamics of their interactions with others. As such, the system demystifies complex emotional patterns, presenting them in a relatable way. The 4Cross Love Checklist goes beyond theory to offer actionable strategies. LaVigne’s engaging, often humorous style ensures that readers feel supported, rather than overwhelmed. Her use of pop-culture references, as when she analyzes Netflix’s dating TV series Love is Blind, grounds her concepts in relatable, real-world scenarios, making them tangible and accessible. The 4Cross Love Checklist, for example, translates complex ideas (such as “Awareness” and “Attraction”) into practical steps that can be implemented immediately. Additionally, the emphasis on understanding both oneself and one’s partner encourages readers to view love as a shared journey rather than an individual endeavor.
A guide that blends insights and useful dating tips to help build fulfilling relationships.
Everywhere you turn there's a (insert number of steps) article about how to improve your life and business. We've attempted a few of these "quick fix” tactics but they never stick. There is no such thing as a magic todo list. However, after a short period of time working with 4Cross, we've realized the big picture. In both our professional and personal lives, we've begun to view the world through a clearer lens. It’s not easy letting go of the things that drag you down on a daily basis, but slowing down to concentrate on the important aspects of life and work has been great... and guess what... the sky hasn't fallen.
Robert Evans
“Shelly makes you feel like you’re having a heart-to-heart with a really smart friend who gets it.”
“Shelly really opens up an amazing way to understand others and how we interact.”
“If you’re ready to stop winging it and start navigating life with a lot more clarity, 4Cross is for you.”
“I'm so thankful for a deeper understanding of not only myself and how I am hard-wired to respond or view certain situations in my marriage… but also my wife!”
Life is a Game! Get the Playbook.
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“It's so helpful to know that what have been points of difficulty are simply each of us reacting to our survival concerns based on how we're made. ”
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“It's amazing to see how we truly complement each other. I highly recommend this to anyone in a relationship!
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“I must say that Shelly LaVigne’s practical breakdown of love as a "game" with positions is something that we could label as revolutionary. ”
Why wouldn’t you want to know 4Cross?
“The self awareness that comes with knowing 4 cross is mind blowing . Understanding why we & others, act & react changes EVERYTHING !
Truly transformative !!!!!.
“Do you want to understand the game of love? Read Shelly's book. She has done a remarkable job of dissecting the complexities of love.”
“What truly stands out is Shelly’s compassionate yet direct tone, which inspires accountability without inducing guilt.”